percentages

      If somebody asked you whether you believe that God is good and that He is in control, you’d probably say an easy yes. The harder part is living today as if that were true – without scrambling to keep yourself safe and secure and in control. You can’t drop all the scrambling at once. You have to let it go little by little, choice by risky choice. So today might be 5% trusting God to manage things and 95% pinch hitting -- filling in for Him, especially at critical points. That’s okay, as long as your percentages are slowly going in the right direction. You have to act yourself into new ways of thinking and that takes a long time.

Pinch hitting: batting in place of another player, especially at a critical point in the game

“Trust (be bold and confident and safe and secure and without care) in the Lord with your whole inner being -- your whole mind and imagination and will and heart and soul.” Proverbs 3:5

the opposite of doing nothing

     From the outside, fly fishing looks like doing nothing. You’re just standing there waiting for a fish to bite, and, even if he does bite, you’re going to throw him back anyway. But it’s different when you’re the one standing there.

     When you’re the one standing there, you find out that fly fishing is the opposite of doing nothing. It’s doing something that lets you be where your feet are for a change. You’re not preoccupied, and you’re not in a hurry. You’re not hounded by busyness, and your mind isn’t jumping from one thing to another. You’re just there.

     So you relax. You watch the sun dancing on the under-brim of your hat. You feel the cool of the stream pressing in on your waders. You stay quiet because the fish are cagey and you have to be careful not to spook them. You pay close attention because you may only get one quick nibble before the fish realizes that it isn’t a real fly. Every once in a while, you get impatient because catching a fish takes so long, but soon you relax again because you remember that catching a fish doesn’t really matter. The goodness of being there is good enough.

     Relaxing makes your cast better and that makes it more likely that you’ll catch a fish. When you do, you get to hold his slippery self and enjoy his rainbow beauty up close. When he swims away you’re glad because you can see that you haven’t ruined him. You’ve just borrowed him for a few minutes. Then you smile to yourself and start all over again.

     Fly fishing let’s you remember what being content feels like, and being content in all that beauty makes you wonder what heaven feels like.

“[P]eace like a river. . . .” Isaiah 66:12

“[A]s we enjoyed peace of mind, . . . as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear. . . .” Alcoholics Anonymous

your helping hand

      It’s easy to see what’s wrong with somebody else and how he needs to change for his own good. That’s why you have to be so careful (for both your sakes) not to make him the victim of your helping hand.  

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” C. S. Lewis

"Be kind to one another. . . ." Ephesians 4:32

catch the wind

     You can’t change somebody else. You can’t change her behavior and you can’t change her attitude. You can’t change the way she feels or the way she reacts. But you sure can try. You can try very hard for years and years. You keep trying because it feels like you can’t be whole and happy until she changes. If one approach doesn’t work, you try another. It’s a lot like trying to catch the wind – you end up exhausted and empty-handed.

     You can’t catch the wind, and you can’t change somebody else, so you might as well quit trying. The funny thing is, once you quit, you get a joyful surprise: you find out that you can be whole and happy whether she changes or not. And that is very good news (for both of you).

“I want to hide a while behind your smile. . . . Ah, but I might as well try and catch the wind.” Donovan

“In the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.” Psalm 63:7

sad mad glad

     I’m tired of trying to be somebody I’m not. I watched a friend do that recently. She told me that, compared to other people in the room, she didn’t measure up. She was comparing her insides to other people’s outsides. She couldn’t see her own beauty (which was shining). It made me sad.

     It made me mad, too – not mad at her, but mad at the waste. I was mad and sad because I have wasted so much energy comparing my insides to other people’s outsides and coming up short.

     It made me so mad and sad that I think I’m finally willing to quit. From now on, if I want to compare, I’ll compare who I am today with who I was yesterday. I can already feel mad and sad turning into glad.    

“It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.” Desiderius Erasmus

“I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness.” Psalm 31:7 

act-as-if

     You can start a day over as many times as you want. That doesn’t sound true, so you have to try it and see for yourself.

     Yesterday I ruined the whole morning and most of the afternoon, whining and trudging as if life were one big chore. But then I remembered that I could choose to reboot. So I did.

     I gave myself permission to start over. I chose to act-as-if five o’clock in the afternoon were five o’clock in the morning. I chose to act-as-if I weren’t impatient and out of sorts and discouraged. At first it felt tense and wobbly, like riding a bike with training wheels, but after a while I got my balance and started enjoying the ride. I even took my hands off the handlebars a few times.

 “[T]hat your joy may abound and overflow.” John 15:11