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Really listening to somebody is a good and risky business. You open all your doors and windows. You welcome him in. You lean in (sometimes literally). Your defenses are down. You loosen your grip on being right. You risk being changed by what you hear. It’s a win-win.
“[T]o listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.” Mark Nepo
“Be hospitable to one another. . . .” 1 Peter 4:9
I have a favorite shrub. Most of the time, it looks plain and leggy and boring and colorless, but it isn’t. I know, because for a few weeks every spring I see its beauty bursts out. It dresses up in its party clothes--small, salmon blossoms that give me joy. So, when I see it looking plain and leggy and boring and colorless during its off-season, I just smile and say, “That’s okay. I know better.”
“I suppose . . . Rose’s husband seems to you just an ordinary, good-natured, middle-aged man. . . . Just a rather red, rather round man. . . . He isn’t. . . . Rose sees through all that. That’s mere trimmings. She sees what we can’t see, because she loves him.” Elizabeth Von Armin, Enchanted April
“[L]ove one another.” John 15:12
Father, today I accept your kind invitation to see through people’s mere trimmings.
In front of an austere little church stands a large sign that reads “Prepare To Meet Thy Maker.” I’m pretty sure that it is intended to be a warning: “Straighten up and fly right. You could die any second and find yourself face to face with your Maker who will be scowling at you, switch in hand.”
But what if it were an invitation instead of a warning? Then it might mean something like this: “Start today to live arms-wide-open. Learn to welcome and savor and say thank-you for every good gift. Practice loving. Practice being loved. Start getting used to joy because, any day now, you might find yourself face to face with the most joyous Being in the universe.”
“Undoubtedly, [God] is the most joyous being in the universe.” Dallas Willard
“In Your presence is an abundance of completely satisfying joy and gladness.” Psalm 16:11
Our nine-month-old grandson Lee just learned to walk behind his little push-cart, and his parents are over the moon. They cheer. They congratulate. They take videos. He is having fun, but I’m pretty sure his parents are having even more fun than he is.
They are overjoyed because their little guy, who could only crawl yesterday, is tottering along on two legs today. They aren’t upset or annoyed that he can’t really walk yet. They don’t demand faster progress. They don’t stand with their arms crossed, scowling, until he ups his game. They are delighted with his baby steps.
I think that is how God feels about me when I practice something He is teaching me-—letting go instead of controlling, for instance; or being grateful instead of whining. So, the next time I start to berate myself for not being more (whatever), I’m going to remember Lee’s parents. And then I’m going to enjoy my new baby steps.
“It was I who taught [My people] to walk. I took them in My arms. . . . I bent down and fed them.” Hosea 11:3-4
“[T]he Holy Ghost over the bent / World broods with warm breast. . . .” Gerard Manley Hopkins
"If we let our life . . . be overwhelmed by the claim of guests, we could endanger the resources by which we serve them. . . . Every [monastery] shall have a private area to which guests are not normally invited." Monastic Rule of Life, SSJE
I probably will have a lot of good “guests” today (in the form of good work and good activities and good things to learn and good people). It is easy for me to get overwhelmed by the claim of my good guests--squeezing in one more email here, mentally racing there, overfilling every waking minute--until I’m running on fumes. So my guests and I will benefit if I allow myself sacred pauses here and there: private, uncrowded moments of rest and healing and feeling and arms-wide-open listening and course-correction and thank-You.
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to them, “Come away with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31
For a long time, I did my best to hide my imperfection, sometimes even from myself. Then, a few years ago, a teacher introduced me to the idea of paying attention to myself as if I were my friend. She taught me to simply notice my thoughts and motives and actions, without judging or condemning. I practiced. The more I practiced, the more clearly (and compassionately) I could see my imperfection. Now I don’t try so hard to hide it (which saves me a lot of time and energy).
“[We are] hard on ourselves because we are not yet the people WE think we ought to be. . . . God knows we are not perfect. . . . Imperfection is part of the deal. . . . [K]now you are imperfect. Face it. Embrace it. Stop hiding imperfection.” Br. John Braught
“Then the Lord God called to [Adam], ‘Where are you?’ And he said, . . . ‘I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.’” Genesis 3:9-10
