among friends

     Yesterday, in a group of friends, somebody said, “I’m ashamed to give you an update on my life, but I’m going to do it anyway.” She did. Nobody squirmed or spoke. We just sat there. She smiled a relieved smile. She said, “I guess it wasn’t so shameful after all.”

     It wasn’t. Nothing she had said was shameful, but she didn’t know that until she said it out loud among friends.

“You see this sort of thing at the center of every great story. Dorothy takes her journey with the Scarecrow, the Tinman, the Lion, and of course, Toto. . . . When Captain John Miller is sent deep behind enemy lines to save Private Ryan, he goes in with a squad of men. . . . This is written so deeply on our hearts: You must not go alone.” John Eldredge

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

the train station

     When a train is coming into the station, the whole atmosphere changes. The rumble gets loud. The platform shakes. The air gets tense. People pick up their suitcases and briefcases and start moving toward the train. Everybody is focused on boarding the train, but you don’t have to. You can just stand on the platform and let the train leave without you. Pretty soon the station quiets down again.

     My inner world is a lot like that train station. When something happens that triggers me (to worry or to get angry or to butt into somebody else’s business), my whole inner atmosphere changes. Things start to rumble and shake. The air gets tense. Everything in me is focused on boarding the (worry or angry or butting-in) train as usual. But sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I just stand on the platform and let the train leave without me. Pretty soon I quiet down again. 

“Our choices really do count in the sight of God.” Patrick Henry Reardon

“Today, I give you the choice between life and death. . . .  Choose life. . . .” Deuteronomy 30:19

out of the blue

     Last week, I got an email from a friend saying that she loves me and that she is most grateful to the people who introduced us. It was just three short sentences. She was thinking those sentences down in Texas, and she took a few minutes to send them to me. Her email came out of the blue. It wasn’t my birthday, and it wasn’t Christmas, but it felt a little bit like both.

“Be kind and tender-hearted to one another. . . .” Ephesians 4:32

live and let live

     Yesterday, I got way off track. I started focusing on somebody else’s behavior -- on what she should have said and how she should have acted. I set myself up as judge. I was right, and she was wrong. Without saying a word, I created a wide and miserable gulf between us.

     This morning, I remembered something very important: I don’t want to mind other people’s business anymore. I want to learn to live my own life and let other people live theirs. I want to allow others to be as they are (and not as I think they should be). I want to live and let live.

     The wide and miserable gulf is already gone.

“When we choose to withhold judgment, we allow others to be as they are. . . .” Br. David Vryhoff

“Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge. . . .” Luke 6:36-37

give her a break

     I’m learning to welcome people with arms wide open. I still have a long way to go, but I’m learning little by little to accept and enjoy each person just as she is. She is a work in progress. She isn’t perfect. I don’t have to judge or label or categorize. I can see her faults and flaws and failures with compassion. I can imagine her whole. I can give her a break.

     A few nights ago, in the middle of the night, I lay listening to a litany of failures and mess-ups and should-haves. All of a sudden, I realized that I would never talk to anybody else the way I was night-talking to myself. So I stopped. I decided to welcome myself with arms wide open. I said, “It’s okay. You’re a work in progress. You can try again tomorrow.” I gave myself a break. I went back to sleep, and I woke up glad.

“He accepts them as they are, and then gently turns them once again in the direction he wants them to go. . . .” Br. David Vryhoff (describing the way God treats us)

“By the grace of God I am what I am. . . .” 1 Corinthians 15:10